Broken Minds

Kat’s POV

People think the reason I’m so joyful and making jokes all the time is a lot more simple than it actually is. It isn’t only because I’m naturally a funny person. I’m in pain and suffering most of the time, and I act silly because seeing other people feel happy makes me feel better. I went from watching Mary get abused, to watching Celeste get abused. Everything that happened to Mary, it happens to Celeste too. Getting yelled at for things that the person yelling does all the time too, getting hit, being fearful of being in her own home. I find it perfectly reasonable that Celeste is so pessimistic, I have reasons to be pessimistic as well. But I didn’t ever think Mary and I would get away from our parents, and we did. Sure I did just fall into another terrible household, but I still think that shows that we never have to be stuck somewhere forever. Lately everyone in our friend group has been happier than we normally are, because we’re gonna be performing in the music talent show. Rehearsals start today, actually. Skyler finally finished writing the song we’ll perform, which has the same name as our band, “Broken Minds”. I really love that name so much; Dante came up with it. It really represents who we are, even though the song doesn’t state that it’s about us. I’ve been waiting to finally rehearse, I’ve been impatient for it because I’m so excited.

I get to school, and of course as usual I have to shout something completely random as I enter, just for a laugh. My mind is already full of random stuff so it isn’t too hard to just say the first thing that comes to mind. I swing the door open.

“I WISH I COULD KICK THAT OTTER!” I shout as I enter the room.

Ms. Layla has a similar sense of humor as me and has never minded my antics that much, so when I do this she laughs but tells me to quiet down a little bit. A few kids cover their ears but most of them laugh.

Later in the day when we’re in math class, I notice everyone is bored. So being a class clown like I always am, I decide to break into song with my horrendous singing voice. I sing “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, just for no apparent reason. I sing it in a really intentionally over dramatic way. People start giggling, but then the teacher shushes me. So I just start humming it, and everyone else hums along.

After math is PE, another class everyone hates. I’m delighted when I find out after the stretches that we’re gonna be playing the scream game. The scream game is a game where you run and scream at the same time, and stop running when you run out of air to keep screaming. By the end whoever ran the farthest wins, because it means that they can scream the longest. This game lets me get out my inner pain while also making everyone laugh, so it works greatly for me. Celeste never wants to participate in this game, but I know it could be therapeutic and also fun for her so I always try to encourage her.

“Celeste I really think you should just do it this time, it’s getting really close to the end of the school year and you can do it with me! People laughing doesn’t mean they’re making fun of you, it means you’re being funny,” I say

“Yeah, I guess I can do it this time,” She responds

We decide that instead of running, we’re gonna walk extremely slow but scream really dramatically all while having serious faces, because the contrast makes it a lot more funny.

When it’s our turn we start walking and screaming, and everyone laughs, and I can tell Celeste is trying not to laugh. She seems to actually be enjoying it, she’s not embarrassed, she knows the reason people are laughing is because we’re being funny, which is our intention so the laughter is a compliment.

After PE and after lunch, I am bored in 5th period. I’m thinking about everything except for whatever the teacher is talking about right now. Suddenly, I start thinking about that crazy dream I had early in the school year. I was in a maze with doors all over, I opened one and saw my parents abusing Mary in the third person. I remember how ugly and scary my parents looked, and how beautiful and angelic Mary was. I opened another door and saw the same thing but with Maggie and Celeste, and I felt this guilt over the fact that I wasn’t the one being yelled at. I opened another door and my wish came true, I was the one getting all the yelling and abuse. Then I became aware that I was in a dream, and I willed them to disappear. I wished so much that all of that could happen in real life. And now, I have a feeling that we are getting close to it. My predictions of what will happen in the future aren’t really always the best, but I just have a feeling that Maggie will be gone sometime next year. Celeste would believe that that is just wishful thinking, but I don’t think it is.

Later it is finally time for after school music class. We’re all so excited that we all meet right outside at the music room at the same time even though we’re coming from different classes. The door is unlocked so we enter, and the teacher, Mr. Daniel, isn’t here yet.

“Hey, do you guys mind if I just practice singing a little bit?” Skyler says

We all tell them we don’t mind so they stand in front of the microphone and start singing, even though it isn’t on. The rest of us get on our respective instruments and start practicing playing. We’re all out of sync and playing completely different songs, I can’t help but laugh a little bit at how chaotic it sounds. Then Mr. Daniel comes in.

“Oh, um, guys! You shouldn’t touch the instruments until I’m here”

“I’m sorry,” We all say nervously

Skyler especially seems nervous and embarrassed, they might be scared that we’re gonna get kicked out of the program

“Do you, uh, wanna see the song I wrote?” Skyler says with a slightly shaky voice as they reach into their backpack

“Yeah, sure” Skyler takes out their phone and opens the Notes app and shows the song to Mr. Daniel. “Wow, you wrote this? This is the kind of writing I would expect from a professional musician! You are gifted, this is very impressive” Mr. Daniel says

“Oh wow, thank you” Skyler says, visibly relieved

“Did you have anyone in mind when writing this?”

“Well,” Skyler looks at us, and we nod, letting them know it’s ok to tell Mr. Daniel the meaning of the song, “It’s about us. We tried our best to keep it vague that it’s about us, we don’t really want everyone in the school to know our business” Skyler explains

“I can tell how much you all care about each other. Do you have a melody in mind for this song?”
“Uhhh, yeah, I do! Do you want me and Sugar to sing it for you?”
“Yeah!” Mr. Daniel says

So they sing the whole song in a capella, and Mr. Daniel listens closely.

“Do you know how the instrumental will sound?” Mr. Daniel asks

“Nope, that’s what we wanted help with actually. I don’t really know how to write the actual music, only the lyrics and melody” Skyler says

“Ok, that’s no problem! I would love to figure that out with you guys!” Mr. Daniel says

So we spend the rest of the time discussing the right tone for the instrumental, how it’ll sound for the verses, chorus, etc. When the club time is over for today, we all feel excited and proud and even more confident that this will be a success than we did before. This will probably be our most popular song when we’re an official band, it’ll be the song we play last at concerts.

We get ice cream afterwards. Sky gets vanilla, Sugar gets cookies n’ cream, Dante gets coffee flavor, Celeste gets chocolate, and I get birthday cake. We talk about how well the club went, and Skyler shows us some other songs they’ve written that also have lyrics about us.