I’ve had a lot of growth in accepting that it’s ok to not always be helping everyone, and it even catches me off guard when someone, usually Celeste, actually doesn’t want my help. When Celeste is really upset, she just wants to be alone. I forgot people could wanna be alone when upset, because that wasn’t a thing at all for Jake. I always had a problem with being too selfless, I was always too nice but Jake exploited it, and made the problem worse. He made me spend so much time talking to him that I forgot how normal it was for most other people to be so unselfish, and simultaneously felt like I had to be the over-selfless one. I feel so free, being able to actually think about myself, I’m still thinking about other people too, but because I want to, not because they’re making me feel like I always have to. I really was traumatized even though it was only a middle-to-highschool relationship, it was not normal for one of those relationships. I actually sleep now. Every night. I don’t usually have bad dreams, often have no dreams at all. I’m not tired during the day.
I actually didn’t get much sleep last night though, because it’s the music talent show today. I didn’t sleep out of excitement though, not stress. I choose a dress to put on for the performance. I briefly wonder if I’ll be overdressed, and if everyone else will be dressed really casually. I decide that I don’t care, I don’t think my friends/bandmates will mind.
I get to school early like I usually do, and meet my friends right outside the building.
“I really love your dress, Sugar” Skyler says with a smile
“Thank you, I really love your outfit!” I respond, smiling back
Skyler is the only other one who dressed up a little bit, Celeste, Kat and Dante are dressed like they usually are, but they don’t mind that we’re more dressed up.
It feels so weird being in class while anticipating the talent show, I can’t think about the subject we’re talking about in class because I can only think of the fact that we’ll be performing in a few hours. I’ve never performed before mainly because Jake always said how stupid he thought school performances were, and I didn’t want him to judge me. I really think performing seems fun, I might join drama class next year. At least Jake thinking performances are stupid means he won’t come to this one, especially since some of the lyrics are vaguely about him.
We get called in for a final rehearsal before we actually perform. The rehearsal is really good and we feel more confident about actually performing. Soon after the rehearsal is done the audience starts coming in and I SEE JAKE. He wasn’t supposed to be here so why is he here I thought he didn’t like school performances he doesn’t belong here.
“Guys Jake is here” I whisper
“It’s gonna be ok Sugar, don’t you think he kinda deserves to hear a song that’s partially about him anyway?” Kat responds
I realize she’s right and then I feel confident and ready to perform again. I really wish I had already done performances before this one, it feels like magic I love feeling people watch and listen and be impressed by us and sharing our hard work.
A bunch of people tell us how good of a job we did. People who have never acknowledged us and who Skyler even though looked down on them have told us how much they loved the performance. When I talk to Naomi, she tells me something about Jake.
“He started to say something mean about Skyler, and I told him to shut up” She says, “he also seemed to notice that some of the lyrics were about him”
“Really? How could you tell?”
“He had been smiling in a condescending way and rolling his eyes, and then when it clicked in his head that it was about him his face kinda just dropped”
“Oh wow, well, he deserved it”
“Yes he did”
Being in art class feels even more special than it usually does after the performance, just like how in the classes before I felt anticipation now I feel euphoria after it’s over. A part of me is sad that it’s over because it was something we had looked forward to so much but I know that we’re gonna do it again so it’s ok.
After school we’re all at my house having a little party to celebrate, we have cookies..
“Performing was so special,” I say
“Yes it was” Dante says
“Guys I’m really sad that it’s over. We’re gonna do it again, right?” Celeste says
“Of course we will!” Kat says, “We’re gonna be friends forever, I’ve never seen people who get along better than us. There will be more music talent shows, we can join the music elective or maybe the drama elective. We’ll be an amazing band, we’ll release singles and a few albums and we’ll perform concerts. This was only the first of a million times we’ll perform”
“Naomi told me that Jake seemed to notice the lyrics were about him, he had a condescending smile at first and then when he realized it his face dropped” I say
“Oh no, should we be worried? Is he gonna do something to us for writing about him and then performing it?” Skyler says
“No, we’ll be fine Sky, Sugar kinda scared him off” Dante responds
“Yeah and besides, he totally deserves it!” Kat chimes in
“Yeah maybe that’s just our final revenge” Celeste says
We start to eat our cookies and talk about what the last week of school will be like.
“The last week should be uneventful, right?” Skyler says
“Yeah, we don’t have to do anything academic at all in the last week” I say. I’m the only one in the friend group who’s been at this school for a while, they all just started this year. “You guys are really lucky that in your first year at this school, you’ve made a reputation for yourselves by the end” I point out
“Yeah, that’s true. I thought I was gonna be a loser again here, and it especially seemed like it with how Jake treated me and Celeste, but I guess I’m actually cool” Skyler says
I want to tell them that of course they’re cool and I don’t know how they’ve only just noticed but I don’t say anything.
Skyler and Dante leave at around 6:00pm, and Kat and Celeste stay to spend the night at my house for the third time and we keep eating the cookies and Kat also makes a cake cause she knows how to bake. I’m really grateful that this is where I’ve ended up, at the beginning of the school year I was still with the same person who was like a curse to me and I thought I’d be stuck forever but by the end of the school year I’m finally ok.
EPILOGUE
In the beginning Celeste’s dad was unfortunately marrying the woman who had been abusing her, Maggie, and Celeste was looking forward to meeting her step cousin Kat.
In the beginning Dante was depressed about human suffering, and could not do anything about it at all.
In the beginning Skyler was still insecure as a result of how much they’d been made fun of in the past.
In the beginning Kat was grieving her sister, but also happy to get to know Celeste and believed that they would get out of the situation eventually.
In the beginning Sugar was stuck with Jake and thought she would be stuck marrying him because he made her feel like she’d be so terrible if she left.
Now Celeste still has yet to have a solution to her problem, she is very much still stuck in a broken home, but she has her best friends to brighten her world.
Dante is getting better, he can focus on the positive impacts he is able to have, and not think as much about what he can’t change.
Skyler isn’t quite as insecure, because they see how highly their friends view them, and Sugar especially made them realize how they’re actually perceived by other people.
Kat is still very positive that things will change for the better no matter how bad things get.
Sugar is free from Jake, an amazing addition to the friend group, and she’s in love with someone who actually cares about her.
They still don’t know why that incident happened in the forest when Skyler and Sugar went on a walk that day, with the monster and them falling from a cliff and landing in her bedroom. There’s definitely weird parts of their world that they don’t fully understand. But for now they get to keep living their lives in an average way.
Stay tuned for season 2!
Broken Minds 