Broken Minds

Kat’s POV

I’ve been living with Celeste for some time now, and it really brings back my trauma seeing how Maggie treats her. It’s just the same as my parents with Mary. Maggie  ignores me when I tell her to stop. And just like Mary, Celeste insists on never telling anyone about it. Maggie threatens her that if even the cops know about it, she’ll manipulate her way out of it and they’ll think Celeste is lying. But at least Celeste says I’ve been making her life better. She has a best friend who she lives with now. For Skyler and Dante she has to wait until school, or schedule seeing them. But with me, she always gets to see me since we live together. I really see Mary in Celeste. They remind me of each other, the way they react to pain, and the way they’re both so kind. With both of them I’ve always made jokes when I got the opportunity to make them feel better.

I’m currently waiting for Celeste to get home from school. I’ve read a book, gone on my phone, done everything to be entertained. Maggie and Uncle Jason are both at work. I’m always so bored when I’m home alone. There’s still another two hours until Celeste gets home. I decide to take a nap.

The next thing I know, I am in a maze with grey walls and doors all over the place. I open one door and see my parents yelling at Mary, and me as a child watching and crying. My parents don’t look human. They have twisted and fucked up faces and look demonic. Mary looks beautiful and innocent. I just look like myself as a child. I open another door, and I see the same scene but with Celeste and Maggie. I feel guilty. I want the yelling to be at me too. I put my hand on another doorknob, and pray that this time it will be me getting all the yelling. I open the door and immediately Maggie and my parents are shouting in my face. Mary and Celeste are just getting their well deserved rest. They say all the things I recall being said to Mary, along with things Maggie says to Celeste.

Retard

Stupid

Ugly

How dare you embarrass us by dressing like a whore??

I hate you

I suddenly become aware that I am in a dream. I will them to disappear. I will them to deteriorate, never abuse anyone again. I use my mind to make them disappear and turn into smoke. Celeste, Mary and I can live in peace together now.

I wake up, disappointed that my dream wasn’t real. I know we will get away from Maggie someday, and when we die we will be in the afterlife with Mary. But that’s not happening yet, it won’t for a while. I get out of the bed and lay on the couch. Then I hear the bedroom door open. Celeste is home! This makes me feel better. I get up excitedly and start having a conversation with her. 

“How was your day at school?”

“It was fine, I guess. Jake made fun of Skyler and me again. He said Skyler has a big nose and I have a big forehead, and he made fun of me for being sensitive” 

“I’ve told you, you have to stand up for yourself-“

Suddenly, we hear the front door open and it must be Maggie. I start to see the dread on Celeste’s face.

 “I’m home, guys”. We hear Maggie’s loud, rough voice say

 Then Celeste hides underneath the bed and I start crying. I remember back when I lived with my abusive parents and Mary, Mary always used to hide when she knew our parents were coming, so seeing this brings back some trauma. Maggie comes into our room.

“Kat, why are you crying? Did Celeste make you cry?” Maggie says

“What? No, of course not. I’m just crying because I had a nightmare”

I’m lying, of course. The dream I had was the opposite of a nightmare because of how it ended. She doesn’t seem to believe me.

“Celeste! Where are you?”

“Celeste is on a walk, and it really isn’t her fault I’m crying, I just had a bad dream. I was already crying before she got home”

Celeste sneezes. Now Maggie knows I was lying about her being on a walk, which means she might also figure out that I was lying about having a bad dream.

“Celeste! Get the hell out from under there!” Celeste gets out from underneath the bed. “Kat, leave the room for a minute”

“What are you gonna do?”
“I said leave the room”

“Not until you tell me what the fuck you’re about to do to her!”

Maggie shoves me out of the room and slams the door and locks it. Then I hear a slapping sound, and then Maggie starts to yell at Celeste. Hearing this gives me a level of anxiety that you would expect someone to get when they think they’re about to die. My heart starts pounding, I start banging on the door, then I start to get itchy, and I start crying louder.

“Let me in there you monster!”
She ignores me and continues yelling at Celeste.

“I SAID LET ME IN! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!”

I continue banging on the door and screaming at Maggie to let me in until she’s done yelling at Celeste. She opens the door and walks past me, and then I see Celeste rubbing her red cheek with tears in her eyes. I quickly go up to her and hug her.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve done a better job covering for you”

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault…”

WIthout saying another word, she lays on the couch, about to take a nap.

“Just take the bed,” I say

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah”

“Well, you’re not using it right now so I guess I will”

She climbs onto her bed. I leave and turn the lights off to hopefully make it easier for her to sleep. Maggie is in the living room watching TV. I come up with an idea. I want to make a cake for Celeste. When I was younger, Mary learned how to bake from one of our older cousins, and then she taught it to me. I know Celeste loves strawberry cake. I find the strawberry cake mix in the cupboard.

A few hours later, Celeste comes out to the living room, she sees the cake on the counter.

“Did you make that?!” Celeste asks

“Yeah, I did. It’s for you and me” Maggie has left the room, so she won’t ask for any.

We take pieces of the cake to the couch and watch TV together. After about 10 minutes, I ask Celeste to pause it. I want to tell her about my dream.

“I just remembered, I had a dream during my nap earlier” I say

“Oh, what was it?” She responds

“I think I was in a maze with a bunch of doors, and when I opened one of them I saw my parents yelling at Mary, and I saw myself as a child watching. My parents looked demonic and deformed, Mary looked beautiful and innocent, and I just looked like my normal self as a child. Then I opened another door and saw the exact same thing but with you and Maggie, and with my present day self watching. Suddenly, I felt this guilt, this need to be the one who was being abused. So I put my hand on the doorknob of another door, praying that this time I would be the one getting the abuse. I opened it, and immediately my parents and Maggie were screaming in my face, and you and Mary were just resting. Then in that moment I realized I was in a dream, and I willed them to disappear, to turn into smoke. And they did. So you, Mary and I got to live together in peace. Then I woke up”

Celeste processes everything I just explained to her.

“I wish that could happen in real life,” She says

“We will get away from Maggie one day, I know we will. Everything always ends up being ok”

“I don’t think so. I think I’m just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life”

“You’re not, don’t say that”. I start trying to think of a way to make her laugh. I come up with an idea. “Celeste,” I say, mocking Maggie’s rough voice, “how dare you drop that dish Celeste? I don’t ever do that!” I then pantomime dropping a dish, since that is something Maggie does all the time. Celeste laughs. I then get up and imitate Maggie’s posture, severely exaggerating it. “I’m super entitled. I think I have a right to just barge in and ruin everything when I married a man who has a whole fucking daughter”

Celeste laughs and we both start mocking Maggie. Eventually, we sit back down on the couch and we both fall asleep.