(CW for: mentions of abuse)
It all started when my parents had me outside of marriage when they were only 19. My mom wanted to forget about her mistake so she left and went to another state and left my dad to raise me on his own. I’ve never met my mom. In kindergarten I met Skyler and Dante. They’re my best friends, I love them like they’re my siblings. Since I was an only child and my dad was too, I had no family members around my age, so Skyler and Dante sort of played that role for me. Everything was fine until I was 10 and my dad started dating a woman named Maggie. My dad would often have work meetings and thought he could trust his girlfriend to watch me while he was gone. He was wrong. She would be verbally and sometimes even physically abusive to me. I never told him a thing because I feared that he would never believe me. Maggie convinced me he wouldn’t and that it was best to keep my mouth shut. I remember a friend who I briefly had in 4th grade named Maya. Her and I ended up drifting apart, but the thing I remember most vividly from her was when she asked me what Maggie was like and I just had to say she was “lovely”. I don’t know if things will ever change.
Here I am now 4 years later, it’s almost the end of summer break and my dad recently unfortunately married Maggie. So she’s technically my step mom now, but I’ll never refer to her as that. I’ll always just refer to her as Maggie. So needless to say, I’m not very happy with my current situation at home. But at least I have Skyler and Dante. Skyler, Dante and I went to get our hair dyed together a few days ago, and Skyler and Dante also got a haircut. Also, I’m gonna meet my step cousin today. Like I mentioned earlier my dad was an only child so I’ve never had any cousins, so I guess this could possibly be a nice experience. She apparently ran away from home and went to live with her sister who had recently became an adult and was living in an apartment, but her sister unfortunately recently died and so now she’s coming to live with us. I wonder why she ran away from home. Maybe her parents were just as bad as Maggie is.
I’m on a walk right now, I’m about to text Skyler and ask if I can go to their house when Dad texts me and tells me my step cousin arrived at our house. I walk back home and see a girl sitting in the living room. That must be her.
“Hey Celeste, this is your step cousin! Why don’t you guys go in your room and get to know each other?” my dad says
“Alright that sounds good,” I respond
“Yeah!” my step cousin says cheerfully
We walk to my room together and I sit on my bed and she sits next to me. “What’s your name?” I ask her
“Well technically it’s Katherine, but everyone calls me Kat and that’s what I prefer. What’s your name?” she responds
“Celeste,” I tell her
“Cool” she says
“I’m sorry for the loss of your sister.” I say
“Thank you. Her name was Mary, her and I were there for each other for a long time. My whole life. She moved out immediately when she turned 18 to get away from our abusive parents, and I escaped from our parents soon after and stayed with her. How does Maggie treat you?”
“Not well”
“Yeah, I figured. Our family has a history of abusive adults. The trauma just keeps being passed down as each parent treats their kid the way their parents treated them, I haven’t figured out if it’s because they’re trying to reclaim their power, or they’re angry about the fact that their childhoods were like that and they’re taking it out on their kids, or maybe they just don’t know any better because that’s how they were treated and they see nothing wrong with it. I was never abused myself, but I always witnessed Mary and my cousins being abused and it fucked me up”
“I’m so sorry you went through that”
“It’s ok, I’m sorry you have to have Maggie as your step mom, and thank you guys so much for letting me stay here”
“It’s ok, and you’re welcome, I don’t really like being the only kid here, and I won’t be able to invite my friends over anymore because, y’know, Maggie, so it’s gonna be nice having you here”
“Yeah I’m sorry about that, I’m glad you’re happy to have me here though, I’m happy to be here too. What are your friends’ names?”
“Skyler and Dante, they’ve been my friends since kindergarten, I should introduce you to them”
“Yeah sure I would like that, when would you introduce me to them?”
“I’ll ask them if we can hang out in a few days and if you can come too”
“Alright, thank you”
“No problem”
We keep talking until it gets close to being time for us to go to bed.
“Where am I gonna sleep?” Kat asks
“We’re gonna get a new bed for you but until then you can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch” I respond
“Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch if you want”
“No no, you can sleep in my bed”
“Thank you so much”
“You’re welcome”
“Goodnight”
“Goodnight”
I get a blanket and a pillow and get comfortable on the couch while Kat turns the light off and gets in my bed. Before I fall asleep I think about some of the bad memories with Maggie, and how there’s probably so many more to come. I have a hard time sleeping because these thoughts make me miserable, but I eventually pass out.
Two days later…
Kat and I just arrived at Skyler’s house, Dante’s already there. Her and I walk in and walk into Skyler’s room where them and Dante are sitting on the floor.
“Hey, this is Kat, my step cousin, and Kat, these are my close friends, Skyler and Dante” I say
“Hi” Kat says
“Hey!” says Skyler and Dante
The four of us talk and Dante and Skyler get to know Kat and she gets to know them. It goes as well as I expected. We start talking about the new school we’re gonna go to.
“I’m a little nervous, I’ve been homeschooled since 1st grade, I haven’t actually gone to school since I was in kindergarten. At least it’s a private school though.” Dante says
“Will I be going to the same school as you guys?” Kat asks as she turns and looks at me
“I’m not sure, I’ll ask my dad. It is a special needs school, are you diagnosed with anything? Like autism or ADHD?” I respond
“No I’m not, and I was sheltered from anything that had to do with mental and physical illnesses, so I don’t know much about autism or ADHD anyway” Kat responds
“Why were you sheltered from mental and physical illnesses?” I ask
“I’m not sure, I think it was because my parents knew a lot of people in our family were mentally or physically ill and didn’t want me to figure that out” Kat explains. “What is autism, though?” It’s a little hard for me to explain, so I look up the definition and show her. “Oh, well this does kind of describe me in some ways,” she says
“Oh, well would you like for me to ask my dad about taking you to get some assessments so you can possibly get diagnosed, and if you get diagnosed we can try to get you into the same school?” I say
“Oh ok cool, thank you”
“You’re welcome”
On the first day of school…
Ok here we go. Unfortunately Dante will be in a different homeroom class than Skyler and me. Our homeroom teacher’s name is Ms. Layla, and his homeroom teacher’s name is Mr. Andrew. I’m sure it’s probably harder for Dante since he’s just there with a bunch of strangers. If Kat ends up coming to this school I would like for her to be in mine and Skyler’s homeroom, or maybe Dante’s homeroom so he has a friend there.
I open the door to the classroom and immediately see a bunch of people I’ve never seen before. I begin to panic a little until I see Skyler.
“Hello, I’m your teacher Ms. Layla, you must be Celeste?” the teacher says
“Yep” I respond
“You can take the empty desk over there,” Ms. Layla says
There’s one empty seat left and it’s right behind Skyler. I say hi to Skyler as I walk by their desk and then sit down.
“Right now we’re in morning study hall, I’ll pass out your schedules so you each know what classes you’ll go to for the rest of the day” Ms. Layla says
After she passes out all of our schedules and we look at them everyone starts talking to their friends and I can tell everyone else in the homeroom already knows each other. Skyler turns around to talk to me,
“So how’s you’re morning been so far?” Skyler says,
“It’s been good, I’m kind of nervous though,” I say
“Yeah me too, I’m honestly not sure about this homeroom,” Skyler says to me quietly so no one else can hear
“Well it’s only the first day and we just got here, so I’m sure we’ll be fine” I respond
Soon it’s time for 1st period which is history for me and Skyler according to our schedules.
“Hey Ms. Layla, mine and Skyler’s schedules say we have history with Mr. Evan in room 208, where is that room?” I ask
“Go upstairs and walk to the end of the hall and you’ll see it” Ms. Layla says
“Alright thank you” I respond
“You’re welcome” Ms. Layla says
Skyler and I walk up the stairs and walk to the end of the hallway and find room 208. The door is already being held open by a door stopper.
“Hey, uh, I think we’re in this history class” Skyler says
“Oh ok, can I see your schedules?” Mr. Evan says
“Sure” Skyler says
We walk up to Mr. Evan and hand him our schedules
“Yep, you two are in the right class. You guys can sit wherever you want, there’s no seating chart yet”
We sit next to each other in the back of the room.
Fast forward a few hours, now we’re in PE…
We meet the PE teacher, her name is Coach Sally. She asks all of us new kids what our names are and then she takes attendance. Once everyone is here the class starts.
“Ok, so first we’re gonna learn the stretches. We’re gonna be doing these stretches everyday for the rest of the school year to warm up before doing activities. It’s ok if you don’t understand them right now, but at least try” Coach Sally announces
We start going over the stretches. I struggle with some of them, mostly lunges and squats, but others aren’t that bad. I’m still a little relieved when Coach Sally says we’re done with stretches though.
“Ok, so today we’re going to be playing volleyball,” Coach Sally says
Skyler and I both feel dread when she says that. Dante does a little bit too, but not as much because he doesn’t struggle as much with volleyball as Skyler and I do.
“Who wants to help me set up the net?” Coach Sally asks as she starts taking the net out of a black bag
That kid Jake raises his hand so Coach Sally has him come up and help her. After they’re done setting up the net Coach Sally starts explaining the rules to everyone and Skyler and I just try to prepare ourselves for the trainwreck that’s ahead. I’m preparing myself to get embarrassed, but I’m also preparing myself to try to do a decent job. I’m in front of a bunch of people who I’ve never met before, Skyler and Dante are the only people here who I know. After she finishes explaining the rules, she asks who wants to go first, and some girl raises her hand so Coach Sally gives her the ball. She throws the ball and calls my name. I didn’t know she even knew my name, I didn’t think anyone would just on the first day. I completely freeze up and can’t get myself to catch the ball. I hear Jake and his friend laughing to each other as the ball flies past me. I feel my face burning as I shamefully go to get the ball. I then call Dante’s name and attempt to throw the ball but can’t get it over the net. Once again I hear laughter, but I can tell that Dante just feels sorry for me. Then the person who’s closest to the ball picks it up and tosses it over the net effortlessly, and Dante catches it. The minutes keep dragging by, each one feeling like an hour. Skyler eventually walks towards me to start having a conversation. While we’re talking, someone calls Skyler’s name, and they try to get ready to catch the ball but the ball ends up hitting them in the head. Everyone on the other team except Dante laughs.
“Shut up!” He tells them. They stop laughing.
I almost want to cry tears of relief when Coach Sally says PE is over. Is this how uncomfortable PE is gonna be everyday here?
After we all wash our hands it’s time for lunch. Skyler, Dante and I all sit at the same table. Finally for the first time today the three of us get to just talk and see how we’re doing.
“So that was even worse than PE in middle school was,” Skyler says, starting the conversation
“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t like how they were laughing at you” Dante responds
“It’s fine, it isn’t your fault. I just hope it won’t be a consistent thing for the rest of the school year” I say. I see Jake and his friend give us a look and quietly say something to each other as they walk by our table and go to their table. Dante doesn’t notice, and thankfully Skyler doesn’t either. If they did it would probably make them anxious.
“Earlier today I saw Jake making fun of someone for their speech impediment. He seems like an asshole” Dante says
“Did you say something?” Skyler asks
“I didn’t have to, the teacher called him out” Dante responds
At the end of the school day…
Skyler has already gotten picked up and Dante’s gonna walk home from school but he’s sitting next to me on the bench so I don’t feel alone. I start to realize the school day is over, and even though it hasn’t been the best, it felt better than home feels. Sure Jake might be a problem, but I’m sure dealing with him for a whole day would be better than dealing with Maggie for five minutes. I felt at least somewhat comfortable at school, and I don’t want to return to my home life. Dante notices the shift in my energy.
“What’s wrong?” Dante asks me
“I have to go back to Maggie now” I say softly
“Oh…” Dante responds even more softly
Broken Minds 